This reflection was originally published on April 11th, 2020.

By Donna Davis

This reflection is for John 20:19-31.

Here’s a thing about me: I’m a skeptic. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a skeptic is “habitually inclined rather to doubt than to believe any assertion... that comes before him,” “a seeker after truth,” “an inquirer who has not yet arrived at definite convictions.” That describes me pretty well. Am I this way by nature or nurture? I’d have to say it’s a little of Column A and a little of Column B. Either way, skepticism is ingrained in me, and it is not one of the traits people love most about me.

Now, while I may be a skeptic, I’m not a cynic. Rather than ridicule others or dismiss their beliefs, I respect people whose beliefs differ from mine. (As the saying goes, it would be a strange world if everyone were the same.) What I value most is the opportunity to make up my own mind, to test the evidence of a thing before I am expected to believe it. It should come as no surprise then that I have a special place in my heart for the Apostle Thomas – you know, Doubting Thomas.

In the Gospel for this Sunday, John tells us that, at a time when Thomas was not with them, the crucified Jesus – alive again – appeared. And when the disciples told Thomas this, he said he’d believe it only when he could see it for himself.

John does not explain why Thomas adopted this mindset. Could it be that he thought they were lying? I don’t think so. As a member of a group in hiding from the Jews, it seems very clear to me that Thomas would trust the others with his life. Was Thomas simply feeble in his faith? Nothing suggests he was any less faithful than the other apostles. But he did doubt, and because of that, history has judged him harshly.

But in a way that warms my heart, Jesus did not single Thomas out for condemnation. When he appeared again, Thomas was present. Jesus invited Thomas to touch his wounds and said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.” If we read this carefully, it’s clear that Jesus wasn’t actually just speaking to Thomas. Wasn’t he speaking to all of the disciples, who just the week before were standing in Thomas’ shoes, doubtful and cast down?

Later, Thomas went to India, establishing a Christian community that remains alive today. This is not the legacy of a doubter. His was a moment of skepticism. He just needed to see it for himself.

I’ve been in Thomas’ shoes too, many times. And never – never – has Jesus ever wagged his finger at me, or called me weak, or shamed me for disappointing him. Instead, he meets me in my doubt, blesses me with his peace, and shows me who he is and the glory of all that He can do. And I am convinced, because I have seen it for myself.

Donna Davis is a contributor to Ora, where you can read reflections for the weekend Mass readings. Go to oraministry.weebly.com to read more.